I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
