BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
