And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I could make wine with my vomit
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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