he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
