I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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