I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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