drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
