My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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