does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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