Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
