:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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