So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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