I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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