Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
