Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize