btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my shit smells like andre
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
