That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
