You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
