I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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