You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
