just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
