As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
