I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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