Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
