Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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