We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
