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I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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