i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
