Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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