She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
