do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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