I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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