NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
