Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize