i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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