just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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