also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
