you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
