Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
from now on my penis is your penis
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
