Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize