Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
