SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
