I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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