she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
