I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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