Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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