Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
