I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
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in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
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At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.