Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..

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  (215): I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere.. http://tfl.nu/8h2a
  Replies (13) Good night (707) Bad night (1414)
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  (818): View more from California

  you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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  (818): you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures http://tfl.nu/qd8i
  Replies (14) Good night (3723) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy

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  (410): Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy http://tfl.nu/8k4u
  Replies (7) Good night (635) Bad night (1868)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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  (616): I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one... http://tfl.nu/uf1v
  Replies (16) Good night (672) Bad night (5180)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?

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  (651): Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag? http://tfl.nu/dgvl
  Replies (16) Good night (1244) Bad night (3260)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.

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  (573): She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical. http://tfl.nu/zk2m
  Replies (13) Good night (1223) Bad night (3010)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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  (281): I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car. http://tfl.nu/4osg
  Replies (8) Good night (524) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.

  (925): View more from California

  he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!

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  (510): in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water. (925): he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy! http://tfl.nu/d51r
  Replies (5) Good night (933) Bad night (1606)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1715) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?

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  (613): Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you? http://tfl.nu/o3d1
  Replies (4) Good night (1660) Bad night (440)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap

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  (231): Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap http://tfl.nu/aur6
  Replies (9) Good night (452) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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  (828): nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote... http://tfl.nu/xy7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1263) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.

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  (979): It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/3krn
  Replies (12) Good night (554) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.

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  (650): Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels. http://tfl.nu/tpw7
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

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  (484): Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower. http://tfl.nu/xncl
  Replies (4) Good night (300) Bad night (421)

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