Its about making memories worth repressing
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups