ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

  Fav 18 2129 958

  share tweet
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

  Fav 13 4634 1543

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...

  Fav 14 6062 1684

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

  Fav 22 14724 1524

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

  Fav 11 1116 2952

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.

  Fav 11 4518 1533

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  they're like a gay fantastic four

  Fav 15 2766 1332

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.

  Fav 9 2368 1168

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?

  Fav 10 991 1424

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (415): View more from California

  I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station

  Fav 15 4112 867

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

  Fav 8 1471 889

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night

  Fav 4 1158 635

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.

  Fav 4 2205 624

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.

  Fav 1 476 232

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (510): View more from California

  I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.

  Fav 5 305 107

  share tweet
  

Randomize