Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is