She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Drake has all the answers
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
