The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
then he tried to convert me to islam
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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