We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
