Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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