someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
