Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
