Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My life is pants optional.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
