STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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