Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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