Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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