you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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